I know what stress is, kinda. I know, or what I think I know, is it is your body's response to a situation you can't get away from that you would like to get away from. So your body has a flight or fight response and releases all kinds of chemicals so you can save your own life. The problem is, in modern day, or at least for humans and I think that probably for a long time, you can't save your own life from the things that bring you down. Much of the time, they are things that you sought out, or things that you need to save or maintain the life you want or think you want. The physiological response that is stress actually slowly kills you. In the meantime it makes you feel like utter crap and makes you not look cute.
Since I got back from the East Coast, I have felt like complete crap, have really struggled to get through a day, and do not look cute at all. I have been unhappy and miserable. I have been waking up tired, looking forward to going to bed and feeling like I could drop dead by like 9:30 in the morning. I have coped by making daily lists of things I must get done, exercising as much as I could muster, and putting one foot in front of the other. But I have felt completely overwhelmed.
A colleague and friend suggested to me today that it was stress that was doing it to me, and I kinds think she is right.
Today at least, I felt better. I felt great today, had a great day. Why all of the sudden this change took place I do not know. I don't think it's that the situation has changed, because it has not changed at all. Is it that my attitude has changed? I don't know that it has, as the things that I want to get away from but can't are still most loudly and definitely in my life. Is it my coping techniques that have paid off? Basically what I did was "act as if" and forced myself into a structure that would get me through on a day to day basis. I wish I knew why this sudden change in how I feel occurred. Feeling good is so much better than feeling like you're dying.
In other news, last night we found a kitten in a tree that seemed to be stuck up there. It was crying. We decided to leave it and if it was still there today, we would help it to get down, which I did. I gave it a can of tuna, and went inside. Five minutes later, i come out, and it is on the garage roof, crying again. I pull up a chair and it will let me pet it but I just couldn't quite get a hold of it. I don't really like ladders very much, so I decided to just leave it there for a while and see what happened. A little while later, I hear a muffled crash outside, and figured the crazy kitty had jumped off the garage. I go outside to see, and it had jumped from the garage (detached garage, by the way) to the roof of the house. I could not even engage in the situation, decided to just let it play itself out. Well, the next time I go outside the cat is on the hood of the car, and a few minutes later again, back on the roof of the garage. Clearly this cat has a whole lot going for it. The garage is attached to the cantina, which pleases me because perhaps this kitty will run off the squirrels.
I think it will, cause I love it and it loves me.
I believe it's name is AC (Airborne Cat).
I would have to agree that it is nearly impossible to look cute when you are stressed. I am glad that for whatever reason your day was better than they had been. It does feel a lot better to feel good than to feel like you are dying. It is so hard to take on stress mentally (as college and tennis injuries are teaching me). The fight to win the battle is well worth it though and I wish you luck. Go kick your stress in the butt Holly!!
ReplyDeleteStress can make you sick. I know they say you can't catch up on sleep-I like to every weekend, works for me.
ReplyDeleteHolly, I can relate to the stress cycle. It has sometimes felt like a big monster that grabs me and hauls me under the water. I am finding some tools to help me (meditation, yoga, friends, swimming). I am taking a stress reduction class in Sandpoint based on the work of Jon Kabat Zinn. I am reading the book he wrote Full Catastrophe Living. The class was set up in a hospital in the Boston area for people dealing with chronic stress problems. I am finding it helpful.
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